I got home late tonight, as I went to the gym after work and WENT IN AT THE GYM, you know what I mean? I had some pent up aggression for some reason....I Hi Captains, I was late getting home tonight, which he knew about. I went to the gym after work and really WENT... Continue Reading →
Graduate of the Clear Platform University
Hey girl, I have touched on this before, but it was really the sky-high, 7" clear platform heels that strippers wear that made me want to become a stripper. When I first went to a club as a customer, with a couple of friends, I immediately fell in love with the footwear. The boobs were... Continue Reading →
Daddy Issues
Hello Captains, Oh, Daddy. I am so conflicted about this person that I share 50% of my DNA with. First off, my dad is a drunk. My mom was a drunk back in the day, and luckily for me and my sister, she got sober when we were pretty young. My dad didn't, so you... Continue Reading →
The Down and Dirty Friendship
Hey girl, Here I am again. This time I want to discuss friendships. Like, real down and dirty friendships. Like that bestie that is always there for you, will never bullshit you but tell you straight how it is, the one you can confide anything to. Sigh. I wish I had one. I was thinking... Continue Reading →
Getting Cockblocked in a Dream
Hey girl, I have to tell you about this fucking bullshit dream I had last night. I was hanging out with my ex-husband (whhhyyyyyyy must you haunt my dreams!) on a trip somewhere, and there was this sexy ass dude (I think it might have been Jason Momoa, mmm) that my ex had given me... Continue Reading →
Goddammit why did I miss the early blog days
Hey there, Lately I've been listening to lots of podcasts with bloggers, but like OG bloggers from the earlier internet days. And I think about my previous identity that I rocked back in those days and fuck, I wish I had really capitalized on the early blogosphere days. Back in 2008 I was obsessed with... Continue Reading →
No-Kid Discrimination
Hey girl, Now, most of you reading this probably have children. I get that. This post is not for you, and I mean no offense. This post is merely my own opinion, that only a select few people will jive with. One thing that I have found myself subjected to since around the age of... Continue Reading →
Stripper Etiquette 101: Don’t Ignore The Wife
Good morning Captains, Last night, I was chatting with a friend and former naked co-worker, and she was telling me about her recent disappointing strip club visit. Her and her husband went to a strip club in Pennsylvania, which turned out to be full of overweight sloppy lazy girls. They then went to our old... Continue Reading →
Wait- they were gay all along??
apple.news/AHoexhs54RCC4ufBdst5tkg Captains, I can't even express how angry this makes me. This fucking Bible-thumping bullshit turned to repentant gay is for the fucking birds. How many lives did you ruin with your fake Christian shit while you were so "high and mighty"? How many people hate themselves because of the bullshit you shoved down their... Continue Reading →
All Our Efforts are Not Enough.
Hey there, I'm going to be Super Pessimist this morning, and tell you my true feelings about the state of things. All of our efforts, worldwide, to conserve, recycle, reuse, reduce.....it's not going to be enough. It's not going to save us, or this planet. There are just too many freaking people in the world.... Continue Reading →