Take that passive-aggressive shit elsewhere

I got home late tonight, as I went to the gym after work and WENT IN AT THE GYM, you know what I mean? I had some pent up aggression for some reason….I

Hi Captains,

I was late getting home tonight, which he knew about. I went to the gym after work and really WENT IN at the gym, you know what I mean? It’s like I have some aggression to work out or something…

I get home, he’s hangry. And a bit drunk, of course. While I’m finishing up last night’s dishes, and preparing to start dinner, I ask him what kind of side he wants. He proceeds to pull the “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” And I actually don’t fly across the room and choke him. Amazing.

What I do instead, is to calmly turn to his drunk ass, and tell him that I am not going to feel guilty about the fact that he didn’t have a snack and/or start dinner, since he knew I would be home late. I also reminded him that despite the behavior, he’s not a child and incapable of feeding himself.

What that stupid spat reminded me of, was when my ex would pull some bullshit make-me-feel-guilty, and as a young twenty-something-year-old, I went along with waaayyyyy too much of that shit. Makes me cringe, but young love is often very dumb.

DON’T BE LIKE TWENTY-SOMETHING-ME. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT.

Amelia, how can I tell if it’s bullshit?

If you are yelled at about something, and and your first reaction is confusion, chances are it’s bullshit guilt throwing. Take a step back and look critically at the situation.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS ABUSE.

Can you tell I have strong feelings about this subject? In one way, I’m glad that I went through what I went through, because it made me stronger and made me recognize it, to better arm myself against it in my future.

But I gave him so much power. SMH. It was such a toxic relationship and I am so glad that I had the strength to leave him. I am also very very glad he grew up and became a better person. Such a rarity.

If you need to talk, I’m here.

AK

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