That Time They Tried To Make Us Into Decent Women

Hey girl,

I was recently reminded by my Twitter editor-in-chief @sinlife_media about that brief moment in my dancing career when the boss had a BIG IDEA.

He proclaimed in his infinite wisdom, that there needed to be more class in the club. So on Friday and Saturday nights, at 8 p.m., all the girls were to dress up in real dresses or gowns (i.e. ass and titty covering dresses) and come parading down the stairs, around the bar, and up on stage one after another, while the DJ announced each of us. Then we were to stand up there and smile and wave, like a fucking Miss America pageant.

The idea was to do it early enough in the night that we would cater to the older, more affluent customers that would be hanging out, sipping on their St. Pauli Girl. According to the boss, the older customers wanted older music, and the women to look less trampy.

This parade idea worked for about three weeks. Of course every single girl complained loudly about it. Strippers don’t like change, unless it makes them more money. And I didn’t see or hear about any evidence that this scheme resulted in more bank for the girls. It didn’t work for me. Yes, we had some older clients, but I think it was such an abrupt change and poorly executed and advertised that it was a total flop. All the men were looking at us sideways, like we had sprouted extra heads.

I was uncomfortable, up on stage with a fancy dress on, true. But I think that the idea is interesting- I think clubs should maybe experiment more with themes like that; think of a Queen Elizabeth theme, with the girls in corsets? THINK OF THE CLEAVAGE. I love girls in corsets!

Speaking of corsets, I’ll tell you about a fantasy that I’ve always wanted to enact- I’ve always wanted to pour mango cubes into the cleavage of a woman wearing a fire red corset, then suck them out. Mangoes are delicious and a supposed aphrodisiac so I think it’s the perfect fit 😉

I hope you’re having a good weekend, and staying healthy and happy.



  1. Yeah I never thought they worked either. I think clubs do a lot more assuming rather than asking and observing. It begins with asking customers “if you had me all alone right now, what would you have me wearing?” I have yet to hear long gown so much as once. Maybe long dress once in 20 year. Then, observe who they tip. I mean, guys say they hate make-up and plastic all the time but their money says otherwise. Managers would rather feed their ego account than their bank account.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I notice customers would just ask us why we had so many clothes on. I might be thinking too deep here, but also if someone is trying to push the agenda that class is associated with clothing, what does that say for the amount of respect expected when we take off our clothes for the dance? What about clothing makes me better or changes me as a person?

    Liked by 1 person

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