5 Tips For Newbie Strippers

  1. Be wary of the girls who immediately want to become BFFs with you. They probably have an ulterior motive that involves either a) robbing you blind b) getting you hooked on the same shit they’re hooked on or c) both. Which brings me to my next one:
  2. ALWAYS ALWAYS LOCK YOUR SHIT UP. And do not share a locker with someone for at least six months. Please.
  3. Bad razer rash down there because you’re not used to shaving so much? Here’s what you do: after you get out of the shower, pat dry then rub deodorant all over the affected area. Now don’t go putting it in your junk, but just all around it, especially along your underwear lines. Do this every time you shave- it’s immediate relief but you have to be consistent. And stop itching!
  4. Don’t trust drug dealers. I know this one seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many girls think their drug dealers actually care about them. Drug dealers only care about cash. If someone lays out a line of “coke”, don’t believe them. There are a lot of white powders out there, and a lot of white powders that you would never want in your body. Ajax, anyone? There are white powders that give you thirty minutes of a high, and there are white powders that give you two days of hell. There are plenty of white powders that will land you in the hospital or morgue.
  5. And lastly, SAVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY. Please, I beg you. Do not live a careless free for all spending lifestyle, try to save as much as possible. I know there are expenses that the job kind of calls for, nails, hair, makeup, outfits, etc., but get the best deal. Use coupons. Keep a journal and write down how much you make every shift. Find trends and capitalize on those higher cash shifts. You are no doubt young and pretty and horny but it’s not going to last forever, no matter how talented you are. I’m going to say it again for the girls in the back: SAVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY.

Ok, those are my five bits of advice that I wish someone had sat me down and gone over with me. Especially the deodorant one- man, it is not a good look when you’re all broken out down there! I didn’t really have any trouble avoiding the sneaky conniving bitches because I could always sniff them out within minutes. I never really had trouble avoiding the powders either- I’m not an uppers kind of gal, give me a joint and some music and let me chill the fuck out any day. But I did experiment with MDMA for a short period of time and did not like that I couldn’t control the high. The money thing….sigh. Woulda coulda shoulda. Don’t be like younger me!

You can totally have a great time during this period of your life, just use your head and your deodorant. That’s my advice.



  1. So how do you advise saving money? How much? We know you can’t save your way to a million dollars. And what about if you are behind on bills already? Should you still save? How much is enough?


  2. It’s easy when you start to think girls are you friend, especially if you are young. It’s pretty dis hardening to think that everyone around you wants to do you harm. This thought would put anyone on edge. (Think about how you would eat food if I said at any moment someone could snatch your plate from up under you). What advice do you have for girls starting that want friendship? (It’s gonna be the same type of girls that when looking for a roommate kinda wanna hang out with them sometimes).


  3. That’s such good advice about sharing lockers. I once had someone just invite friends into our space all the time just because she was friends with them!!!! And what in the world makes dancers think they are exempt from theft? They will take a locker, put no lock on it, then become a raging maniac when they’re stuff comes up missing

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There is definitely way less money in the adult industry than there used to be so the amount of saving you can do a year is probably limited to $10,000 if that since according to Google most dancers make $45,000 a year. Which is definitely accurate if you watch people’s posts and struggles. I think better advice is to invest and to diversify income. It’s easy to repeat the mantra customers tell you to “save save save” but it’s pretty regular job money and civies aren’t rich. It’s $1,000 more than a Burger King manager to be exact.

    Liked by 1 person

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