An Introvert’s Love of Internet Lurking

Ok. Ok. Ok.

I’ve been working on pulling myself out of this hazy, unfocused state of mind (yes, some due to marijuana ingestion, of course) that I’ve been in for the last six weeks or so. A large part of it was the election, and then post-election anxiety and battling dread.

I wish I had immediately snapped out of it when the election was called in Biden’s favor, but I didn’t. There’s still so much work to do, there’s still so much blatant racism and oppression happening, so much bullshit, and oh yeah, let’s not forget this goddamn pandemic.

One thing that didn’t survive this pandemic, is my little business that I had on the side, hand-making jewelry. During lockdown, I went hard on it, and had a large upswing in sales and interactions, it was great. But I knew as soon as I went back to work, that it was would fall to the wayside, which is exactly what happened. 2020 truth: I just don’t have the bandwidth to have a full-time job, and then come home and work on the side business for another five hours. A lot of working moms would think that’s pathetic- I don’t even have kids!! But that’s just me. I am the type of person that gets really drained from interacting with people, and luckily my husband is the same way- we want to come home, get into jammies, pack a bowl and pour ourselves some bourbon, and chill the fuck out until we have to go to bed.

Another aspect of running an online business that I got totally burnt out on is the constant social media promotion you have to do; from newsletters, to live streams, to posting….everyone and they’re mother is selling something, and it takes so much fucking work to rise above the noise and pull people into your little niche. Fuck, I have trouble posting in my blog regularly!

I’m not even good at online group interactions! And there are so many awesome groups, under every topic you could imagine, and even that type of socializing tires me out.

So I am mostly an internet lurker. I find the internet both fascinating and repulsive. But I love being able to see how other people live, especially around the world. I like opening virtual doors and watching for a minute, then moving to the next door. Well, doesn’t that make me sound like a peeping Tom. I promise, I don’t do that in real life.

You know what’s been bringing me expected joy lately? TikTok.
The amount of creativity and genius on that platform is mind boggling. Endlessly entertaining. a large amount of the videos aren’t even that funny, but they’re put to the perfect song, and it becomes hilarious.

I also find the fact that different age groups flock to different social media platforms so interesting. I asked my thirteen year old niece what her age group thinks about Facebook, and she said they think of it as an old person’s hangout. Her age group is all about Snapchat and TikTok. Like, how do they learn those dances???

On Twitter, I follow a lot of SWers and I love lurking among those threads- some of it I’m very familiar with, having danced for 8+ years, but some of it is so current, and different than what i was used to. There are so many brilliant , sexy and funny ass entertainers!
I can’t imagine being a stripper during a pandemic- I feel for you beautiful people! Sure, I had to dance through the Great Recession, which was an empty bowl of shit, but this is worse.

Do you also get exhausted by interacting with people, or does it charge you up? Also, has this changed for you during COVID?


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