In my mind, there are three main reasons that you would really regret your past relationships:
1) Abuse (Physical? Emotional? Both?)
2) Introduction to Drugs/Enablement
3) Financial Abuse
I have been a victim of #1 & 3; Considering the crowd I once ran with, I am very lucky to have never partied to the point of no return. I’ve been a pothead since 2006 but always avoided the larger, lethal vices out there.
My ex-husband was such an asshole back in the day. Very controlling, yet absent at the same time. Very emotionally abusive, with a sprinkling of physical abuse. We had such an unhealthy relationship, yet there was passion and genuine love. Just very miss-guided. The effects of his abuse will still rear its ugly head from time to time, with certain triggering situations.
But he was my first love, and I dare say I have never loved anyone as fiercely as I loved him.
He has gone on to realize the wrongs of his ways, and to become a responsible member of society, and a devoted father. It’s weird when I see pictures of his daughter- like, that could have been our daughter, you know?
I am very grateful that we are friends now; he still means the world to me, and I would be devastated if anything happened to him.
I am grateful for our relationship, despite its hardship and you know why? Now I know what emotional abuse looks like, sounds like, feels like. Being in an abusive relationship sharpens your senses, gets those internal sirens fine tuned so they will start blaring at the next jackass you might run into down the road.
The guy I dated after I left my ex-husband was so different, yet I believe he was what I needed at that point in my life. I sound like a selfish bitch if I say it that way, I guess. Actually, we were what each other needed. He was passionate, and caring, and huge-hearted. He also had a lot of personal demons that eventually interfered with the relationship to the point that I had to walk away. We smoked a LOT of weed together, and he introduced to me to so much great music, and movies that I would have never discovered on my own.
In the very least, I feel like you should have learned something from a failed relationship. I know there’s a myriad of reasons that could make you regret a past relationship, I’ve only touched on the tip of the iceberg. And there are people who have been put through the ringer in relationships, and they’re left as broken, angry people. There are people who have literally had the rest of their lives ruined because of a relationship gone bad.
So, I ask you: did you learn or do you just regret?