Oh man. The thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars that I wasted.....*sigh* I could go down a deep rabbit hole of regret and torture but I choose not to. What good does it do? Those days are over, the crash of '08 done already wiped out my bank accounts....my ex husband done already spent... Continue Reading →
If the 7″ Stiletto Fits….
Sometimes I still marvel at my dancing career, that it ever happened. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I am convinced I was ovulating when I called up the club and got an interview. I had to be - how the fuck did I get the balls to take that first step? You've got... Continue Reading →
I Was Not That Bitch
In my 8 1/2 years of dancing, I had few and far between moments of drama. Drama, as you know, is a living, thriving beast within the strip club. Whether it's girls fighting over songs to dance to, customers, or their significant other stepping out with another dancer, there are a myriad reasons that drama... Continue Reading →
The Strip Club: A Hub of Genius and Mental Illness
I have always thought of the strip club scene as part of the underbelly of a city. The underbelly where all the creative, off kilter, devious, scandalous people congregate. I have always had a bit of a fascination with the secrecy vibes of the underbelly scene. Yes, the strip club is perhaps close by other... Continue Reading →
Self-Care for Sex Workers: Because We Nurture The Lost
Back in the early 2000s when I was dancing, the topic of self-care hadn’t exploded yet. Things like mani/pedis, and massages were around, of course, but there wasn't the proliferation of self-care blogs and businesses like there is now. My version of self-care back then was to go tanning (eek, I know) and to get... Continue Reading →
Be Aware of the Guilt Trippin’ Gru
Be aware of the guilt tripping gru!
Do You Regret Your Past Relationships?
In my mind, there are three main reasons that you would really regret your past relationships: 1) Abuse (Physical? Emotional? Both?) 2) Introduction to Drugs/Enablement 3) Financial Abuse I have been a victim of #1 & 3; Considering the crowd I once ran with, I am very lucky to have never partied to the point... Continue Reading →
When You Want to Make Amends, But Can’t.
There was this one customer who came stumbling in to the club on New Year's evening, about thirteen years ago. I was one of the first girls that walked up to him, and I remember him looking up at me with this dazed, glassy eyed look, and I thought, oh man this guy's all fucked... Continue Reading →
Let’s Talk: Body Changes After Dancing
I actually started noticing some body changes about 1 year before I quit dancing. Specifically, less muscle tone. That was due to the lack of stage dancing.....which was due to lack of customers. Business dropped off dramatically around summer 2007, and never really recovered much, in the years after the Great Recession. Several big businesses... Continue Reading →
An Introvert’s Love of Internet Lurking
Ok. Ok. Ok. I've been working on pulling myself out of this hazy, unfocused state of mind (yes, some due to marijuana ingestion, of course) that I've been in for the last six weeks or so. A large part of it was the election, and then post-election anxiety and battling dread. I wish I had... Continue Reading →